Still Getting Used To This

So.. I realize it's  been a while since I posted last.. and that's pretty much just because I am still getting used to finding a time to sit down and pour out my thoughts on this little blog.. (while deep down I know I have all the time in the world!)

First I will do a little pregnancy update in a nutshell.. I'm 27 weeks along... and everything seems to be going very well thus far.. little Maddox is VERY active.. and loves to kick mommy, today, specifically, he was REALLLLYYY low... so low that I thought he could pop out and say hello! I have my next appointment next tuesday where I will do my glucose test, which is basically a test for gestational diabetes.. I am not too worried about it.

Had my first shower this past weekend, which was small, but sweet. Very nice to get together with friends that I am ashamed to say I don't see a whole lot of!

The weather is slowly heading in the direction that I am most comfortable with - sunshine, warmth, and blue skies.. I can take a little rain here and there... so long as it's not cold out.. It's been nice to head out to the greenhouses and pick out some flowers and things with Joe... and even nicer to come home and see them put in.. as it's getting a little too difficult for me to do labor intensive things such as that... I am carrying really high so it's tough to even sit up straight, let alone bend over and plant flowers! I have no problem taking the liberty of watering though :)

As the pregnancy progresses.. it doesn't get any easier not having Joe around during the week.. in fact.. it's actually getting a little more difficult. Just last night I had something very strange happen to me in my sleep that I can't quite explain, mostly because I have never experienced such a thing.. and I will blame this on the pregnancy - just to make myself feel better. I'll go ahead and call it a "night terror" because that is as close to the correct definition as I can think of.. Somewhere around 3 am.. I woke up abruptly absolutely terrified.. and unsure of where I was.. I literally looked around my dark bedroom confused, petrified, and alone for what felt like minutes... while I am sure it was probably only about 20-30 seconds.. and I remember saying aloud "Oh my God" in a frantic loud voice... Once I had realized that I was in fact, in my own bed, in my room... I tried to fall back asleep, but it took a while..

Whether you choose to believe it or not, I am somewhat of a believer in the paranormal.. and earlier that night I had been messing around with a goofy little application that I have on my phone called "Ghost Radar".  While I understand it's main purpose is for entertainment... I do not dismiss the fact that almost anything can be used as a gateway.. (i.e. Ouija boards...). I won't really get into it.. but let's just say I won't be playing with that for a while...

Since quitting my job at Raggs, I have slowly been teaching myself to get to bed at a decent hour... anytime before 1 am is usually pretty good for me... I've got 8 minutes... so until next time...

Should I Be Scared?

The time for you to turn our little twosome into a family is rapidly approaching.. Daddy and I have no idea what we have gotten ourselves into! I have to admit, there is a little fear in me.. deep down. But for what, I am not exactly sure.

It isn't that I am afraid that we can't provide for you, I have no doubt in my mind that with some simple personal sacrifices of our own, you will have everything you could ever need. Is it a selfish feeling that I will have to truly grow up and set aside all the 20 something fun I have become so accustomed to? I don't think so. So I guess I am not really sure where the fear stems from.. but what I do know, is that it is completely normal - and when the day comes that I get to meet you for the first time, I know that nothing else in the world will matter.

Oh, there you are...

It's been a long time since I have actually written anything I would consider "blog-esque". The days of Xanga have long since expired and I have, for some reason, decided to start a new blog.

Where to begin... I don't really know.. how about.. we just start with today.

I saw Maddox (my unborn son) move for the first time today. At 23 weeks pregnant, I have been feeling him for a couple of weeks now.. but his movements have gotten strong enough to where I can see them on the outside.. It's like every day that passes.. something new and exciting happens and this just gets more and more real. I never thought someone I haven't even met yet could make me so happy..

Daddy and I can't wait to meet you.

You are already the sun and moon to me.